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Just posting to say I finally got to my invitations, thank you.
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This is only the second time in 20 years that it's early September and I'm not in school. I haven't purchased a notebook, pen, folder, or textbook. I haven't started to worry about assignments, papers, due dates, teachers, classmates, students, or anything else. School has been the center of my life, my worry system, and my goals for twenty years. And I'm not there.

And I feel fine about that.

It's SO weird. To me, the coming of autumn has always signified -- SCHOOL!!! Time to start getting disciplined, buying school supplies, gearing myself up for stress. And there's nothing. In fact, if *Jay* didn't have to deal with the school starting up this fall, I would barely notice that school is in session. It's SO strange. I think I'm alright with this because I've honestly had enough of school for now. It's time to relax, take a little sabbatical, take a year of purely physical-labor jobs and let my stress levels stay low for awhile. Like I said in my previous post, it's time to focus on myself. Oh, I'm always focused on myself -- I'm self-centered that way -- but I've always been focused on how much things suck -- how much work I have to do, how much time in my day is lost, how I do more than everyone else around me....

Now.... my work is generally over by 9 or 10pm, and I have another 8-12 hours TO MYSELF. My only stress right now is what I CREATE for myself. My causes of external stress have ALL been removed (well, except Jay, but I accepted that fact when I accepted the ring!)

It's time to face my life without the haze of school to look through. To honestly see myself, and try and fix what is wrong. That's going to take time, a lot of trial and error, and a lot of patience with myself. Since patience is one thing I lack, let us hope I can improve!
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Testing font, colors, etc
Tags:
Current Mood:
crushed crushed
Current Music:
Jay's music
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